Breaking up with the parents of a playmate.
Throughout my years of being a parent, I have made some really awesome mommy/daddy friends and some not so awesome mommy/daddy friends. I was and still am a proponent of, “if you and your child spend time with my kid, we should at least be friends”. After-all, I am entrusting you with the well-being of my little one and vice versa and I need to know where your head is at as a parent. But what happens when the relationship goes sour and you need to break up?
I had one such instance with this mother named Rosie (names have been changed to avoid any awkward situations). It was early in my parenting years, 2.5 – 3 years deep, relatively a newbie to the game. My little one and Rosie’s kid were the best of friends. This was great, I thought to myself, I have a buddy and my kid has a buddy, we were double playdating INSTANTLY.
Over the next year we did everything together, hung out, shared sitters, went to dinner, and did brunch. It was the most PURRRFECT relationship ever; it was my first mom-on-mom action. I was in HEAVEN. The kids had fun and we had fun it was day in and day out. But then, I started to notice things and like in all relationships, the honeymoon was OVA! She was late for pickups, she started to have a series of “roommates”, she would leave her kid with men she had just met, and I would hear constant sob stories about situations that she just should not have been in. And this once great relationship, started to get a little scary. I did not trust her with my kid anymore; I didn’t trust her with HER kid anymore.
The final straw came when I got a call from her daughter’s school telling me that she hadn’t been picked up. It was 7pm, pickup was 6 and Rosie was nowhere to be found. I packed up my kid and raced to the daycare, all the while dialing this woman thinking the worst had happened. What would I tell her mom, what would I tell her daughter, when do I call the cops. When I finally reached her, and told her what happened, she realized that her new sitter (first day on the job) did NOT show up. She then mentioned that the sitter had quit earlier in the day but SAID she would pick up her kid this one time and DID NOT. She wasn’t worried, she wasn’t concerned. I don’t know about you but I have my sitter(s) text, or call as SOON as they pick up my child from school or I start calling everyone! And the kicker, she stayed at work for another hour before she came to pick her up. I was DONE! IT.WAS.OVA!
Even though I loved this kid, for the sake of my kid’s safety and my sanity, I had to break it off. It’s not you, its me I said as I slowly stopped responding to calls and emails. I was devastated, I was sad, I was lonely. I thought I destroyed my kid by pushing away her friend. But within two weeks at her new school, she had made all new besties and her other friend faded to black in her mind. It was easy for her at the age of 3, but I still sniffle when I think of some of the better times. I was sad, but in the end, when a relationship doesn’t work, it just doesn’t work.