The Model Mom’s Lessons of the Week:
- If you want your kid to understand anything, use an example that references their electronic games.
Mom: Would you lend your DS to a person you just met?
Kid: NO WAY!
Mom: Well, I’m no sleepover with a new friend, you’re MY DS!
Kid: I get it.
- No matter how much you think you have it under control, your annoying Co-Parent will be able to get under your skin, even 4 years later. Keep booze handy!
- Oven cleaner gets just about ANYTHING clean. Dried milk spill that I was NOT told about and only realized it happened weeks after dude to the residue all over my kitchen cabinets and outside of the fridge that was almost concrete…GONE!
- No matter how many towels or washcloths you put in the bathroom, you kid will still USE YOURS!
- It is great to be an easygoing parent, but sometimes, just because, tell them NO. Keeps them in check and keeps them humble!
Why? Because The Model Mom Says So! #modelmomsayso
It is a holy celebrity pregnancy trinity going on in 2013. Kate/Jess/KimYe all preggers at the same time! Get ready for endless baby nonsense And while all babies are wonderful, there are two sides to the madness that goes on when celebs get knocked up.
The Good – Fat Celebrities: It’s awesome to see celebrities get fat, even if just for 9 months with a valid excuse. Jessica Simpson got HUGE! Tori Spellings face will never be the same again! And Mimi, well, she always teetered on the edge of chunky anyway. Its nice for us mere mortals to poke fun and know that even stars get cankles.
The Bad – Post Baby Hotties: They lose all of that pregnancy weight too quickly and your CoParent looks at your fat butt and wonders why you cant drop the weight like Posh/Scary Spice and all those damn Victoria’s Secrets models did. I mean did you see Mel B post baby, geeze that gurl look good!
The Good – Healthy Lifestyles for Pregnant Moms: I love to see all the maternity health stuff for pregnant moms. From pregnancy yoga and swimming to baby-moons. Its awesome.
The Bad – Over Doing Healthy: Since some of you are so preoccupied with staying fit and healthy, I now have to see you and your big belly at the gym, the spa and on the jogging path. Sometimes its called over doing it. I do not want to see you in my noon kickboxing class sweating. I mean really, I am not only worried that you are gonna get kicked or pass out, I get angry when you dont because I am working so hard and I’m not pregnant.
The Good – Rich Baby Mama Drama: They make dysfunctional families and unwed parents look good/normal to the rest of us mere mortals. From Angelina and her wierdo life to Eryka Badu and her three babies fathers to Heidi hooking up with Seal whist preggers with another mans baby and Kim still married to Kris and having a baby by Kanye (KKK) and the blond chick from Mad Men (what the heck is her name other than Betty Draper) not naming the father of her kid. It makes the rest of us look normal.
I admit, I did get a little crazy when my child was still in the oven. I talked to her, I played music for her, I even put my sonogram in a frame and put a Santa hat on it and took pics for Christmas and sent it to friends via my cell phone. Hey don’t judge me. But glorifying the whole 9 month experience has gone WAY too far and is beyond the scope of me sending out a pic of my sonogram in a Santa hat. As per the NY Daily News, a Japan firm is now making and offering for sale a 3D model of your fetus for $1200 dollars.
Yes you heard me. The 3.6-inch resin model of the white fetus, encased in a transparent block in the shape of the mother’s body, is fashioned by a 3D printer after an MRI scan. AND they even put it on a key chain if you like. Now, I am all about creating moments to remember, but why the heck would I want to show this off to friends. Hey look at my tiny uncooked baby on a key chain. This goes right up there with getting a mold of your stomach made. Why would you want a paper machete of your huge belly, what is the purpose, I don’t get it. And where do you keep it? 😦 I am already having nightmares about this mess. It looks like the alien from Alien. Yuck.