Tag Archives: manners

Behavior Boundaries: Don’t Sweat What Other Kids Do

22 Jan

There is a base level of normalcy within my childs behavior. The kid is going to challenge me, gives me her opinion whether I want it or not, always forgets to hang up her uniform, talks way too much, forgets her homework at times and there is a level of forgetfulness when it comes to please and thank you. With that being said, my benchmarks for behavior are different than others.

In my world, parenting shouldnt have to be an exercise in making your kid perfect or avoiding other parental criticism/comments or making your children the poster child for other kids or moms. It should be a mix of basic human decencies (no you cannot curse, hit, stab, murder, spit, pick buggers, steal, walk around naked or pee in public) and your own preferential parenting styles and values/morals (yes we can discuss why you are grounded, you can have a sleepover but I have to meet parents first, you must hug me in the morning). So talking in class every now and again is no real cause for concern, the kid is 8, that is a base level 8-year-old thing a quick mention of should fix, whereas full on clown behavior, talking back to a teacher etc will elicit the full vengeful wrath that is mother. You have to let kids screw up every now and again in their age zone and in your parenting zone.

But this is just my way of doing things. Others don’t feel or live the same, which is a given. The trick is knowing how to spot and deal with these people when you come across them and being firm and secure in your own parenting style so you don’t go home and drive your kid nuts with what Becky, Johnny or LaMarcus did and didn’t do today in comparison to your kid.

So another mothers mention of what Johnny does and how Johnny is the most polite alien in all of the U.S. of A. should roll off your back. So what if your kid doesn’t ask to be excused when they leave the table, if that’s not something that bugs you, screw what Johnny does. To you, your kid may bring about your wrath if they forget to recycle or takes things from the fridge without asking.

Dont get me wrong, sometimes, if a kid is sick, or has developmental issues or is violent or aggressive or a danger, do not ignore it, what I am saying is know your kid, know your boundaries, trust your parenting. Too many cooks in the kitchen turn the soup into pudding.



The Playdate Commandments

23 Oct
  1. Thou shalt not touch anything you are not supposed to.
  2. Thou shalt be polite.
  3. Thou shalt not let anybody touch your privates.
  4. Thou shalt not let anybody see your privates.
  5. Thou shalt stay away from peanuts.
  6. Thou shalt not go anywhere without your friends mom.
  7. Thou shalt go to the bathroom by yourself and wash your hands when done.
  8. Thou shalt remember commandment number 3.
  9. Thou shalt remember commandment number 4.
  10. Thou shalt remember to ask to call your mommy if you want to go home.

I was raised within a family that did NOT believe in playdates, that is, you did not send your child to some other persons house to play and leave them there. Now I am not the offspring of a Chinese mom my mother just didn’t trust anyone. However, I decided that I would break the mold and send my 4-year-old out to play with her bestie for a few hours. It was her first playdate. The parents seemed innocuous enough, albeit them sending their child to school with costumes EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. They were foreign and I figured their slight weirdness could be attributed to that.

Before sending my child over to their house I remember covering the basics with my youngster. (see commandments above) You don’t touch anything you are not supposed to, be polite, don’t let anybody touch your privates, don’t let anybody see your privates, stay away from peanuts, don’t go anywhere without the mom and if you want to come home, what’s my number so that you can reach me. Check, check and CHECK!  When we made the drop-off, I even stayed back for a bit to check the place out to be sure there were not any obvious dangers; an uncle with a twitch, a dog that looked a bit like Cujo, any dark rooms, etc. The mom asked me about what foods she was allergic to, and if it would be okay for her to watch a little TV. I thought great, she’s awesome, this should be a breeze.  And um yeah, I was WRONG!

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