Behavior Boundaries: Don’t Sweat What Other Kids Do

22 Jan

There is a base level of normalcy within my childs behavior. The kid is going to challenge me, gives me her opinion whether I want it or not, always forgets to hang up her uniform, talks way too much, forgets her homework at times and there is a level of forgetfulness when it comes to please and thank you. With that being said, my benchmarks for behavior are different than others.

In my world, parenting shouldnt have to be an exercise in making your kid perfect or avoiding other parental criticism/comments or making your children the poster child for other kids or moms. It should be a mix of basic human decencies (no you cannot curse, hit, stab, murder, spit, pick buggers, steal, walk around naked or pee in public) and your own preferential parenting styles and values/morals (yes we can discuss why you are grounded, you can have a sleepover but I have to meet parents first, you must hug me in the morning). So talking in class every now and again is no real cause for concern, the kid is 8, that is a base level 8-year-old thing a quick mention of should fix, whereas full on clown behavior, talking back to a teacher etc will elicit the full vengeful wrath that is mother. You have to let kids screw up every now and again in their age zone and in your parenting zone.

But this is just my way of doing things. Others don’t feel or live the same, which is a given. The trick is knowing how to spot and deal with these people when you come across them and being firm and secure in your own parenting style so you don’t go home and drive your kid nuts with what Becky, Johnny or LaMarcus did and didn’t do today in comparison to your kid.

So another mothers mention of what Johnny does and how Johnny is the most polite alien in all of the U.S. of A. should roll off your back. So what if your kid doesn’t ask to be excused when they leave the table, if that’s not something that bugs you, screw what Johnny does. To you, your kid may bring about your wrath if they forget to recycle or takes things from the fridge without asking.

Dont get me wrong, sometimes, if a kid is sick, or has developmental issues or is violent or aggressive or a danger, do not ignore it, what I am saying is know your kid, know your boundaries, trust your parenting. Too many cooks in the kitchen turn the soup into pudding.



Yes, It’s 39 Degrees Outside and You Have to Start Thinking About Summer Camp

7 Jan

Hey there moms and dads. Are you done taking down the tree? Putting away the decorations and still throwing out the trash from the gifts you gave and received. Well great, because now its time to start thinking about what to do with your kids for the summer.

That’s right, Summer Camp, two months of bliss or hell for some of us and the time to start planning and applying for summer camp is now. Somewhere in the mixed up universe that we live in, Summer Camp has gotten competitive, overcrowded and expensive. Gone are the days that you could just leave  your kid at home, or wait until April or for goodness sake June to place your kids in a camp. Now is the time, especially if you plan on applying for financial-aid, a popular week(s) during the summer or a popular camp.

Yes, it’s one more thing you have to do NOW on top of our New Years resolutions which you probably haven’t kept anyway.


From Parker Louis Can’t Lose to Shake It Up: The Downfall of Children’s Live Action Programming

4 Jan


Coming off of the holidays and sitting with the kid and watching endless hours of children’s live action programming  I realized one thing, TV shows for kids absolutely suck.

Back in my days, we didn’t have too many live action shows for tweens. The 8-12 year olds were either lumped in with the adults with shows like Night Rider, Air Wolf and Full House or we got sucked into the ABC Afterschool Specials.  Sidebar:  In my opinion those ABC Specials ended up being the precursor to the Lifetime Movie Network with its drama filled, but easily deciphered morality tales. My Mom’s Having a Baby and Mom and Dad Can’t Hear Me and my all-time favorite, My Terrible Secret. I can bet you some of those titles were reused on LMN! But back to the story, the ABC afterschool specials were some of the classics that had me running home. The few live action shows that we eventually did have, well they were amazing. From Small Wonder, to Evie and her cute but dumb boyfriend in Out of This World to my all-time favorite, Parker Lewis Can’t Lose and let us not forget Saved By The Bell. This was good television.

Zack, Slater, Parker, heck TOOTIE! and Urkel, these guys had class, pizzazz  real life struggles, real story lines. Not this crazy mumbo jumbo that the kids are watching now.  These shows weren’t all formulaic and weren’t based on characters who wanted to be celebrities or fake celebrities, etc. They were based on oddity, superhero status and the fun part of being a dork. Imagination is now dead and celebrity killed the television show ideas. Now we have shows like Shake It Up where the kids are dancers, really bad dancers on TV shows. Not to mention Hannah Montana and what was that other show with the kid who is a pop star with the fat kid friend and oh don’t forget iCarly and Good Luck Charlie and all the other shows who have kids who sing and dance and do videos and the like, ahh ANT Farm! What the heck happened to it all?! Where is the fun?! Where is the imagination?! Where is the sci-fi?!

The Good and the Bad about Celebrity Pregnancies

31 Dec

celebrity-pregnancy-fashion_162810It is a holy celebrity pregnancy trinity going on in 2013. Kate/Jess/KimYe all preggers at the same time! Get ready for endless baby nonsense  And while all babies are wonderful, there are two sides to the madness that goes on when celebs get knocked up.

The Good – Fat Celebrities: It’s awesome to see celebrities get fat, even if just for 9 months with a valid excuse. Jessica Simpson got HUGE! Tori Spellings face will never be the same again! And Mimi, well, she always teetered on the edge of chunky anyway. Its nice for us mere mortals to poke fun and know that even stars get cankles.

The Bad – Post Baby Hotties: They lose all of that pregnancy weight too quickly and your CoParent looks at your fat butt and wonders why you cant drop the weight like Posh/Scary Spice and all those damn Victoria’s Secrets models did. I mean did you see Mel B post baby, geeze that gurl look good!

The Good – Healthy Lifestyles for Pregnant Moms: I love to see all the maternity health stuff for pregnant moms. From pregnancy yoga and swimming to baby-moons. Its awesome.

The Bad – Over Doing Healthy:  Since some of  you are so preoccupied with staying fit and healthy, I now have to see you and your big belly at the gym, the spa and on the jogging path. Sometimes its called over doing it. I do not want to see you in my noon kickboxing class sweating. I mean really, I am not only worried that you are gonna get kicked or pass out, I get angry when you dont because I am working so hard and I’m not pregnant.

The Good – Rich Baby Mama Drama: They make dysfunctional families and unwed parents look good/normal to the rest of us mere mortals. From Angelina and her wierdo life to Eryka Badu and her three babies fathers to Heidi hooking up with Seal whist preggers with another mans baby and Kim still married to Kris and having a baby by Kanye (KKK) and the blond chick from Mad Men (what the heck is her name other than Betty Draper) not naming the father of her kid. It makes the rest of us look normal.

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MILFin Aint Easy: What Is Your Baby Mama/Daddy – Kid Limit When Dating? (single mom dating)

29 Dec


How Many Kids – Baby Mamas/Daddy’s Is Too Much?

Not everybody can be the Brady bunch.  In their scenario the respective other spouses were deceased. But that is not the case for us all and there are men and women out there who have multiple children with more than one  person, more than one spouse more than one hookup.  So, my question to you is, how many is too many? And what situations are you not willing to work with if your potential mate has kids?

In my life, I am 1:1, one kid, one dad and I will be 36 very soon. But on this fantastic dating journey that I am on, I have to say, I have found some crazy ratio’s. 3:3, 4:3, and yes, 5:4. I have had to ask my self, how many extra kids and women am I willing to deal with.  With 3:3, nope, I’m not gonna do it. If you have three kids with 3 mothers, you are sloppy. 4:3, married twice young and some chick on the side with the youngest kid being younger than mine and you are older than me…yeah not gonna work. And for the 5:4 dude, that stopped the conversation cold and I think I hung up the phone immediately. I didn’t even want to hear the story.  To make it simple, these are the types of situations that I have found:

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How To Survive Being With The Family This Holiday

22 Dec

Here are some tips that can get BOTH the kids and the in-laws off your back while you are home fa la la la la’ing. 😀

    • Family Tree Time.
      Give your kids a project of making a family tree and the first thing you do is tell them to ask Grandma/Grandpa. OMG, don’t you think they would just DIE (hopefully/hopefully not literally) to tell your kids the history of the dinosaurs and get them to write it down. This will take FOREVER! It will annoy the frack out of your kids, keep them AND the in-laws out of your hair.
    • Time to Organize.
      You know that part of the house that they always complain about?! Your kitchen is too dirty, your linen closets are so cluttered, how can you find anything in your pantry with it looking like this. WELL, now is the time to LET THEM HAVE IT. “oh, my mama so and so, you are so right, I could never get this as organized as you would, I’m lost, can you help me!
    • Lets have THE TALK.
      You know your in-law LOVES gossip and here is a way to get them and your husband/beau out of your hair. Tell your in-law about a problem that your significant other is having and tell them how they wish they could talk about it with you. And guess what, OFF they go to harass your spouse or boyfriend to have a chat.
    • Cooking.
      Ha this is easy, just do it IN FRONT of your kids. Oh mama or grandpoo so and so, the kids JUST LOVE your (insert food item here) and I can NEVER seem to make it right myself. By the time you mention it to the kids they will be hopping up and down begging for it to be made!
    • Booze.
      Old.people.cant.hold.their.liquor! Simple, they are OUT LIKE A LIGHT!



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    Mom Cheated In Class: Third Grade Math Debacle

    19 Dec

    hocnews_letemsweatEvery year, the kids school invites us to spend a full morning following our kids to class.  We see what they learn, how they learn and even get to participate in some of their class lessons and activities.  On this particular visit, I thought it would be no different, except, this year, we visited the kids in, wait for it, math class.  It should have been no big deal, it is after all the third grade and it wasn’t like I had to learn or recite anything right. WRONG!

    That day, the classroom activity included asking parents to participate in a math game. In this game you were given index cards with a number and a math problem and the next person had to figure if their number on their card matched the factor of the person who just spoke, kind of like “math telephone”.  Now, understand this one thing about your Model Mom, I hate math, I suck at math, I am terrible at math. I still use songs that I heard in the fourth grade to remember some of my times tables and yes I use my fingers and shortcuts to remember certain things. So when a math game was announced, I froze and panicked out of fear of embarrassment  The first round was easy breezy, it was a simple number and I could have easily figured out what the factors were, excellent. However, I could tell the parents scoffed and quietly judged the other parents that were slow to the draw on the questions in the game. I vowed that I would not be that parent!

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