Dear Kid, Why You May Never Get That Sibling You Wanted.

15 Dec

Dear Kid,

I know you really want a younger sibling. I realized that after you left me clear hints when you a) said that I should join and b) you told me that you wanted another sibling. But kid, with all that I do for you, I am afraid that this one request, well, it just may not happen.

For one thing, you are 8 years old. I am far past the diapers, the late nights, the worries, the nannies and the breast feeding. It has taken years for those girls to recover. From a DDD cup before pregancy to an F cup now, I do not want to know what a G cup looks or feels like. Not to mention, I would wake up in the middle of the night every night just be sure that you were breathing and worried about you rolling off the bed. Which you did, several times, as a munchkin. (sorry about that, but you are okay now right, cool)

Then there is the whole act of carrying a baby thing again. I mean, at this point in life, I have just found a low calorie drink, and I kind of like drinking and I don’t want to stop for 9 months. When I stopped for 9 months before, I didn’t have another kid, so it was easy to avoid liquor. And now I have the stresses of being a single mom (no offense to you kid, love you, love being a mom, blessed am I) and now, I have to deal with your dad, and well, as “wonderful” as your dad is, he kinda makes me want to drink, yeah, kind of a lot.

Another thing, I would have to get this dating thing right and actually find another dude to copulate and cohabitate with. This is a big one for me kid. I have actually tried dating again and it’s awkward. To be frank, my last date was kind of a fail after I made fun of his favorite movie and told him it was a girly movie and he then informed me that it was the favorite movie of his mother who was dying of cancer (yeah she died). Whoops. See these are the things that your mother does. But he did ask to see me again, so Im guessing something is wrong with him or he just may be a glutton for punishment…hmmmmm.

And you know, when I had you, I was a young spring chicken, now, I am old. And I don’t want to be the old mommy. Have you seeb these old mommies? They’re kinda slow and serene and and quiet ans yeah, um no, no old mommy hood for me. I kinda want all kids out of the house before I go through menopause so I don’t hurt anybody.

And then there is the money. Kid, you cost a lot. Vacations with you cost a lot. You want to go to Paris for Spring break and you are only 8. My pockets arent big enough for more of you. And daycare, well it costs a lot and I like shopping…a lot. So if we cant guarantee me some new shoes every month…then I am not going to be a happy camper.

How bout we just get a fish?



3 Responses to “Dear Kid, Why You May Never Get That Sibling You Wanted.”

  1. JDaniel4's Mom January 26, 2013 at 10:21 am #

    A fish sounds like a great idea!

    • The Model Mom January 26, 2013 at 11:14 pm #

      We now have THREE beta fish…although, I still would kinda want a lil wee baby. But the older she gets, the less I am inclined to want to start that over AGAIN!


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