The Playdate Commandments

23 Oct
  1. Thou shalt not touch anything you are not supposed to.
  2. Thou shalt be polite.
  3. Thou shalt not let anybody touch your privates.
  4. Thou shalt not let anybody see your privates.
  5. Thou shalt stay away from peanuts.
  6. Thou shalt not go anywhere without your friends mom.
  7. Thou shalt go to the bathroom by yourself and wash your hands when done.
  8. Thou shalt remember commandment number 3.
  9. Thou shalt remember commandment number 4.
  10. Thou shalt remember to ask to call your mommy if you want to go home.

I was raised within a family that did NOT believe in playdates, that is, you did not send your child to some other persons house to play and leave them there. Now I am not the offspring of a Chinese mom my mother just didn’t trust anyone. However, I decided that I would break the mold and send my 4-year-old out to play with her bestie for a few hours. It was her first playdate. The parents seemed innocuous enough, albeit them sending their child to school with costumes EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. They were foreign and I figured their slight weirdness could be attributed to that.

Before sending my child over to their house I remember covering the basics with my youngster. (see commandments above) You don’t touch anything you are not supposed to, be polite, don’t let anybody touch your privates, don’t let anybody see your privates, stay away from peanuts, don’t go anywhere without the mom and if you want to come home, what’s my number so that you can reach me. Check, check and CHECK!  When we made the drop-off, I even stayed back for a bit to check the place out to be sure there were not any obvious dangers; an uncle with a twitch, a dog that looked a bit like Cujo, any dark rooms, etc. The mom asked me about what foods she was allergic to, and if it would be okay for her to watch a little TV. I thought great, she’s awesome, this should be a breeze.  And um yeah, I was WRONG!

When I went to pick her up, with my mommy friend in toe, withe kids opened the door, I immediately noticed…my kids stockings were on backwards. My heart started to race just a little. Why would her stockings be off? Did she strip naked? Did they strip her naked? I kept my cool and didn’t want to overreact. Then the mom ran down what the kids did for the day, played tea party, went outside to the park, watched some tele and had a bath…HOLD UP, A BATH?

DUH-OH, was my girlfriends immediate reaction. I immediately became tense. It was a TWO HOUR PLAYDATE, did this woman bathe my kid? Of all the things we went over, SHE DIDNT MENTION A BATH. I think I blacked out, because I don’t remember what I said or how I reacted, I just remember thinking grab your kid and GO.

The next hour was spent with me and my kid in a Law & Order kiddie type of interrogation. I had to be sure that she was okay. What did I find out, it was my kids idea to take a bubble bath, the girls bathed and got dressed themselves (which explained the backwards tights) and nobody went into the bathroom with them once they were undressed. So, I wasnt going to have to go all Chris Hanson on the parents, however, I was disturbed by the fact that the idea of a bath was accepted by this parent. WHO DOES THAT.

Needless to say the experience made me add-on to The Playdate Commandments:

11.Thou shalt NOT take off your clothes other than jacket, hat, and shoes maybe socks on a playdate.

12. Thou shalt NOT take a bath while on a playdate.

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