I am totally for the sentiment that it takes a village to raise a child. As I single mother, single working mother, it is nice to have an extra pair of eyes, ears, and yes sometimes, opinions on the goings on of your child/children. I, not having a cooperative co-parent, like to seek counsel of my parenting peers. We have conversations, share tips and advice and at times, some of my male villagers do step up when my co-parent is not available. However, sometimes, people take this village thing a bit too damn far.
Case in point, during a joint outing with parents, after giving my little one permission to do something, another male married parent very VOCALLY vetoed my decision in front of me and my child…and every other friggin parent there. Now, I had two options, cuss the dude out or cuss the dude out. I gave him the look of death and was about to say something when another parent came and explained to me why he said what he did.
Now, fully understanding the explanation, I got it, but there was a much better way to go about it. And, so what about the explanation, you DON’T undercut another parent, village or not, village be DAMNED. Just like in a marriage, you don’t undercut or correct the other parent in front of the kids. You act as a unit and I expect my village to do the same.
I don’t know, maybe it’s me, but at times, I think the men in the village put some extra oomph into things when dealing with single mothers. Could they possibly feel the need to take on the defacto “man/daddy” role because you are not represented by another male? That is very much so what it felt like. And while I appreciate the support when asked, if I don’t ask you, keep your mouth shut. You’re a villager, not a bed buddy, and even if you were, refer to my previous statement, “you don’t undercut your co-parent in front of the kids”.
Model Mom Behavior